Mrs. Claus November 30, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Here’s a holiday story to warm your hearts like a glass of eggnog (with extra rum). For awhile when I was living in Brookline, I took the bus to work. Yeah, I know. There were always crazy characters on that thing. Luckily, it was a pretty quick trip to 
Mission Hill where I worked. (Yeah. I know.) One day in particular always stands out in my head. It was near the holidays, snow outside, and the bus was packed. This old lady shuffled on to the bus, in full Christmas regalia. You know, the Christmas sweater, jingle bell necklace, and ornament earrings. There were no empty seats, so this lady, (I’ll call her Mrs. Claus) stands in front of this young ruffian who was sitting down. This guy looked like a typical skater punk, and was listening to headphones so loud you could hear it. Mrs. Claus stared down Tony Hawk Jr., expecting, I guess, this guy to give up his seat to her. He pretended not to notice, nodding along with his music. You could tell he could feel her staring at him though. Her eyes got narrower and narrower as she glared at him, and you could feel her Christmas rage, as her jingle bell necklace rang angrily with each jerk and stop of the bus. Finally, the bus stopped and Jr. stood up to exit, brushing by Mrs. Claus. She continued to glare at him as she gave him this tiding of joy: “Merry Christmas, @sshole!”
Holiday Party Motownphilly Style November 29, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS (Guest Writer from Motownphilly) – With work holiday parties just around the corner…here’s my experience from last year (I don’t plan to repeat in any fashion whatsoever)
It was time for our yearly “holiday” party. First off, our company party is usually beat. Everyone from work comes and it is a limited open bar. They would give us tickets for beer, like a frat party in college. Then all of the drunks would have to run around and collect tickets from people who didn’t 
drink when we ran out of tickets. On a bright side, we always had an open bar party afterwards at another bar. None of the beat people would come and we could really let loose and have a good time. After that, we had an after after party at hotels in downtown Philly, so no one had to worry about getting home.
This year we received some bad news. The company would no longer be providing limited beer and wine at the party. They tried to give some lame ass excuse that it was for liability reasons…. Cheap bastards…. Well, being to good alcoholics that we are, we made it BYOB. We kept it on the DL from upper management but it had to be done.
So we started drinking at 1… the Captain was treating us well. As usual, the party was boring but we had the after party to look forward to. My plan was to take it easy, because I wanted to get home that night and sleep in my own bed. We left the company party at 4 and headed of to the bar where we were having the open bar from 4 to 8. We had put together a good crew of people from work, so we where having a good time. We usually have a party like this once a quarter to maintain some sanity, and it usually the same crew of people. The holiday party is different though, people take it to another level.
I am putting back the beers at a good pace and feeling good. I am still sticking to my plan that I am going to head home after this and not go to the after after party. But then one of the new guys, fresh out of college, starts ordering up rounds of shots. He grabs me and that’s when my plan started to go out the window. It was 7 at this point and I figured a couple shots wouldn’t hurt me that much. Wrong… This is where the blackout started. I can hold my liquor well, so most people don’t even know how drunk I am most of the time. We left the after party at 8 and headed over to the after-after party. I kind of remember tripping over a bum on the way but not really. We stop by another bar for a drink and then make our make to the hotel. We walk into the room and the party is on.
Then I came up with another good one, time to pull the ghost move and catch a train home. It was about 10 and it was easy to make a disappearing act because everyone was so loaded at this point. The train stops running at 12:30, so I knew it was a good time to split.
I make my way to the train station… I can barely even read at point, so I get on the first train. Problem was that it was the wrong train. I didn’t figure this out until 15 minutes into the ride. So I got off in Manyunk and started to wait until the next train came. The nice thing was that it was in a part of town that was full of people our age and were partying. So I fit in a nice. I catch the next train back to a switching station. At least I am starting to sober up. I get to the switching station, Temple University. For those of you that have never been to Philly or to Temple for that matter, it is not a good area to be around in late at night. Unless you like bums begging for money, and the slight chance that you get robbed or shot. I knew I had to get out of there… The train to take me home finally came and I was happy to be out of there and heading in the right direction. It was 12 at this point and I knew it was one of the last trains to my place.
So I wake up in an empty train with no clue where I am. I couldn’t remember what train I got on in the first place. I walk around the train cars for a little while looking for some one to at least tell me where I am…. No luck there, so I find my way out of the train and start walking the tracks… It is about 2 am at this point and I figured I would find something that I knew eventually. So there I am walking the track and freezing my ass off. I cross over some road but I still have no clue where I am. Then I pass by an airport with jet airplanes… still no clue. Then I crossed over a highway. I decided to hop the fence and start thumbing it. I still had
no clue where I was or if I was at least heading in the right direction. I walked for about a mile with no luck. Then I saw a sign and realized that I was in New Jersey and I was on 95. At least I knew where I was at this point. Then a Jersey State Trooper drove right by me, my 2nd clue that I wasn’t in Pennsylvania anymore. I came up on an exit and got off 95. They were doing some construction, so there were empty trucks all over the place. I try to get in one for some shelter. Bingo, first one I tried was open. I got in and started dialling my boys to pick me up. Problem was, they were either too drunk to drive and too drunk to know where I was. I quickly realized that this truck was not cutting it because it was so cold. I found a engineering trailer close by…. most of them where locked, but I found one that was open and heated. So I found a place to sleep and I was out.
I woke up at about 8 am on some dudes desk. Got up, sat at the deck and started dialling for a ride. One of the guys that was at the party agreed to pick me up. I told him what exit I was at to pick me up. I walk to the exit and look down street and see a Marriott…. yeah, that would have been nice last night. He got there an hour later am took me home.
We Good November 29, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Alright…I knew something was off about the spread last week.
Yeah…I know I said I liked it but hey…you’ve seen them play this season. It’s tough to go against them. This week we’re up against the Baltimore Ravens (-20.5) at last glance. I feel a lot better about this game. The Ravens are offensively challenged. And the defense isn’t what it used to be. They’re still tough against the run but for a team that rarely runs…the pass game should nice and open.
The Red Sox are in trade talks with the Twins regarding Johan Santana. And it looks like Jacoby (in a package including Jon Lester and other prospects) is the key to getting it done. I LOVE Jacoby! I think he’s going to be an incredible, exciting player but…Johan Santana…I KNOW he’s an incredible, exciting player. He’s young, he’s a lefty, he’s a gamer. Pitching is the name of the game. I’d do it in a heartbeat. With the Yankees being the other team in the hunt…I’d love to see the deal done.
Either way…it’s a no lose. But if I had a choice…
The Celtics lost their 2nd game of the season last night against the defending East Conference Champs…the Cleveland Lebron’s. It went to overtime and we had a chance to win in regulation but hey…can’t win them all. The Celtics still have the best record in the NBA. It’s so good to be in the CITY OF CHAMPIONS! Over the past 5 seasons or so…by this time of the season, I’d already be on one of my favorite NBA websites trying to figure out what draft pick would look best in green. Al, Gerald, Ryan and all the rest…I miss you but this is much, much better. By the way, I’ve decided that it’s okay to root for Gerald in the slam dunk contest this year even though he’s not a Celtic anymore.
Golf Party Update November 28, 2007
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Golf Party is off. I’m in the clear.
Golf Party November 28, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – So I’m walking home after work. It’s about 8:00. I stayed late for a few hours catching up on things.
So it’s a 15 minute walk from the work to my place. I’m feeling restless. I want to do something. One of my friends lives close 
by, under a minute. I actually have to walk by her apartment to get home. So I call her up. She invites me over. So I go over for cocktails and we start talking.
Jodie: So are you excited about the golf party tomorrow?
Me: Golf party? What golf party?
Jodie: Remember on Friday night…I got invited and you said you’d go with me.
Me: When on Friday?
Jodie: You were out with your friends for someone’s birthday. You called me while you were out to come meet up.
Thanksgiving Birthday Strikes Again!
Me: Did I tell you that I probably wouldn’t remember our conversation?
Jodie:Yeah…you did say that but I thought you were joking.
Me: Nope…I was quite serious. Also…I don’t even play golf.
Jodie: No not golf….it’s a goth party.
Alright…now I have no idea what I got myself into. Goth? I don’t even know what it really means. It didn’t even know it was still around. In high school it was the kids who wore a lot of black clothes.
She goes on…
Jodie: Yeah…it’s going to be a lot of fun. There’s supposed to be jello wrestling.
Me: And I agreed to go with you?
Jodie: Yeah
Me: Tomorrow night?
Jodie: Yeah
Me: Do I need to buy an outfit or something. The goth thing isn’t exactly my scene.
Jodie: I’m not sure.
Me: Give me a call tomorrow. I’ll let you know.
Currently there’s a 30% chance that I go tonight
Troy Brown November 27, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Troy Brown is back with the Pats! 
I’m not sure he’ll see the field very often but it’s nice to have him back.
And now the bad news…the Pats had been pretty lucky so far in terms of injuries. But we lost Colvin for the season with a foot or arm injury. The extent of the injury hasn’t been released yet.
Thanksgiving B-Day November 27, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Nothing like old high school friends…Mark, Brian and I were all ready for post-Turkey celebrations. We meet in Milton and drive over to Mark’s apartment in Back Bay. At the apartment, we did some pre-drinking.
Brian tells us “Remember I have to work tomorrow afternoon. I can’t drink too much.”
Oh yeah…I forgot to mention that this is also Brian’s birthday.
Like we care…we’re going hard tonight. This only motivates Mark and I to get him really drunk! He’s going down!
The first stop was Daisy Buchanan’s. At the bar, Brian runs into a few friends (he always runs into people) Meanwhile, Mark I noticed that a Bacardi promo was going down.
So Bacardi was giving out free t-shirts. But they just didn’t give them out. You had to do something. Hey…why not? So the girl has a cardboard cutout of a Bacardi Limon bottle. I had to wear it on both sides and collect 20 signatures. No problem…10 minutes later I had the signatures and Mark and I had new t-shirts. We were really excited.
They weren’t the run of the mill regular white t-shirt. It was a high quality garment. (trust me…you’ll be hearing about the t-shirts again later)
We found Brian and he was already a few shots in. Time for a change of pace…we decided we’d head over to…(well perhaps I should keep the bar name as an unknown)
We arrive around 10:00. Things are just picking up. I start a bar tab.
We all do a few shots. I decided to scout the dance floor. Meanwhile Mark decides that he can’t let Brian drink alone. He decides he’ll go shot-to-shot with Brian until they reach an acceptable double digit number. I think we’re on 8 or 9 at this point. I let them do their thing. I just grab a beer and head on off. I run into a girl I went to high school with. She was a year or 2 below me. We decide to do a little dancing. Time starts to fly. Next thing I know its midnight and Mark and Brian haven’t moved from the bar. I go over to talk to them.
All Brian can talk about is getting home so he can work. He needs to get to Milton. But we made a plan earlier that we’d sleep at Mark’s since his car is at his apartment.
Next thing you know…Brian runs out of the bar and starts hailing cabs. Mark and I chase after him. But when we reach the front door, I’m stopped by bouncers. They think I’m trying to skip on my tab. I tell them my friend is leaving and I’m just trying to catch him. But they won’t let me go. I’m physically carried back to the bar and they make me sign out my tab. While I’m “distracting” the bouncers, Mark is able to go outside and find Brian. I close my tab without leaving a tip.
The bartender says to me “Hey…no tip?”
I tell him “I’m getting thrown out! What do you think?”
I walk outside and find Mark and Brian waiting in a cab. I get in the cab and we head to Milton. Once we hit the highway, we realize we have about $7 in cash between the 3 of us. The cab driver figures this out and starts asking us about it. Then Mark gets
belligerent. I can’t write in words what he was saying. They weren’t really words. He was just blabbering. The driver threatened to drop us off on the highway but I was able to squash it. I tell him to stop at an ATM and I’d get money.
I get the cash and we’re off again. So we’re getting close to home. Then Brian says…”Uh oh…pullover, pullover!” The cab screeches to a stop. Brian falls out and gets sick on the sidewalk. I pay the driver and he speeds off. So we’re about a block away from Mark’s place and 3 from Brian’s place. I live a good 15 minutes away but I’m the strongest mentally and physically at this juncture. I decide that I should get Brian home. I point Mark in the direction of his house.
Brian: “Where are we?”
Me: “Your street. Just keep walking that way.”
I send Mark off and Brian and I head to his place. Brian seems to be doing much better now. He’s still nowhere near 100% but he can talk. We get to his house in about 5 minutes. Then I realize that I’m missing my Bacardi t-shirt! I must’ve left it in the cab.
Damn! Oh well…things happen. Brian gets into his house and now I have to get home.
Mind you, I’m the most sober of the 3 of us but I’m nowhere near sober. I can barely walk straight. And now that I’m not watching after Mark and Brian, I feel the effects a lot stronger. This walk may take a little bit longer than 15 minutes. And it’s not exactly the warmest night.
I get about half a block and I can hear a car coming behind me. It’s the Police. The officer pulls up to me. Now in my head I’m thinking I can’t get busted from being drunk and disorderly…I think. But maybe the cab driver called the cops on us.
Officer: “Where are you heading?”
I explain to him that it was my friend’s birthday and I just dropped him off and now I’m heading home. I catch a break as the officer happens to be one of Brian’s neighbors! He stopped me because high school kids all over town had been seen drinking. He thought maybe I was one of them. He was trying to keep underage kids off the streets. He asks me if I need a ride. WORD! I jump in the back of the cruiser and I’m home in minutes. Perfect timing. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Things with Mark…
So like I said before, I pointed Mark in the direction of his house. I could practically see it. We weren’t very far at all. I guess he was a little more drunk than I thought. He made his way down his street. Home Sweet Home! He got to the door but couldn’t get it opened. He figured he had the wrong set of keys. So he tried to climb through a side window.
Only one problem, he was at the wrong house…his Marine neighbor’s house. Mr. Marine is awakened by all the noise Mark is making.
Mr. Marine: “Mark…you live next door. Go home.”
Whoops!
So Mark does exactly what he’s told. He goes next door…except in the wrong direction.
And again he tries the door and then the window. This time he wakes up Old Lady Smith and almost gives her a heart attack!
3rd time’s the charm! He gets into his house and passes out on the floor of his brother’s room. He awakened early the next morning by his mother, Bacardi t-shirt as his pillow.
Momma Mark: “Mark, what are you doing here?”
Mark actually can’t remember how he got home and is praying that he didn’t drive. He jumps out, looks out the window…no car. That’s a relief.
The next day, we’re all recovered from the night. Brian made it to work the next afternoon. I didn’t wake up the next day until 5:00pm (this was a lot easier when I was younger) and my head was still pounding.
Mark is out for errands with his mom. She’s driving. They pull onto his street. All of a sudden he yells “Pull over! Pull over!”
His mom is afraid she may have just hit someone or something. She swerves to a stop and Mark runs out of the car. On top of a bunch of bushes, near where the cab had dropped us off the night before…my Bacardi t-shirt!
Sponge Bob Part 4 of 4 November 26, 2007
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Now, here is where the details get very fuzzy because at some point in the night, everybody left the bar and went their separate ways. Most people just headed home or went to grab some food on their way home.
As for Mike, he lived in the suburbs so he headed to his friend Ian’s house for the night. According to Mike’s theory, somehow he tripped and fell on the walk there. A homeless man saw this and immediately came over to help him. Mike has a history of sleeping on the streets of Baltimore City though so most people assume that he had been passed out on the sidewalk for awhile before the homeless man happened to notice him. Mike probably would have spent the whole night there if the nice man hadn’t helped him (because Mike looked like a heroine addict so he thought that he had an easy sell). Unfortunately, the truth will never be known.
As for me, as I said most people either went to get food or home, but I was not that smart. The night was still young (well, there were at least a good 30 minutes until the bars c
losed) so I decided to head to another bar solo to continue the night (once again, good to know that my mind and body know to keep the party going even when I am blacked out). Now, unfortunately, I don’t really remember any of that. I just have vague memories of being at another bar and then some random memory of walking through the streets of Baltimore with some angry guy. That’s it…nothing else. Luckily, Baltimore is small and I tend to frequent the same bars so I know all of the bouncers.
A few weeks later, Tim and I were were walking into a bar when the bouncer looked at me and said…
Bouncer: Is your friend okay?
Me: Who? Mike? Tim?
Bouncer: No…the guy from the other night.
Me: What are you talking about? What other night? What happened?
Bouncer: (looks at me confused) You don’t remember the other night when a huge fight broke out? Some guy got punched in the face and was knocked unconscious. There was blood everywhere. The ambulance had to come and supposedly the guy was in critical condition when they took him away. You jumped in to break it up and then I saw you walking down the street with one of the guy’s friends, trying to calm him down, so I thought that you knew them.
Me: Really?!?!!?!?! I don’t remember any of that.
Bouncer: (just shakes his head)
Tim: (just shakes his head)
Me: (wait a minute, maybe that is how I hurt my knuckles) Did I hit anybody?
Tim: I hope not. Now we have to worry about some random guys trying to fight us for whatever you did that night…
Bouncer: I don’t think so.
Me: That’s good. (I guess…even though that would have at least solved one mystery)
As for the rest of the night, I still have no idea what happened.
Since I have no idea who the guy was that I was trying to calm down, I can’t ask him. I noticed that I did make a phone call to one of my friends in California around 2:45am, but she said that I was mumbling incoherently on the message so the 3 words that she could decipher did not provide any insight into the events from my night. (wait a minute, 2:45am!?!??! The bars close at 2am…what was I still doing
out?) I also have no idea what time or how I got into Tim’s house since neither him nor Adam have any recollection opening the door for me.
As for the sweater pants, I assume that I was so drunk that I thought that I was at home so I made myself comfortable when I passed out on the couch in the living room. Tim keeps his house really cold so at some point during the night, I must have gotten really cold and went into the room in search of a blanket or something. I guess that I dumped out the box of winter clothes and rummaged through it in the dark until I found something that seemed like sweatpants. I threw them on and then passed out in a chair in the room because the couch was obviously way too far.
Of course, I will never truly know what happened that night and sometimes, I feel like that may be for the best…
I do feel bad for Tim though…the man still refuses to wear any of his sweaters…
Sponge Bob – Part 3 (of 4) November 23, 2007
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Part 3…
After hearing Mike’s story, I just shook my head. (How are we both still alive?!?!) Then I proceeded to share the details of my night with him. After he finished laughing, we both decided that we would need some assistance in figuring out the missing details from that dreadful night. Of course, after consultation with many of our friends that were also at the engagement party, it became obviously clear that they were useless since they were in just as bad, if not worse, shape than we were. So after extensive research, here is what is “believed” to have happened the night of the engagement party. (I say “believed” because very few of these details have corroboration so a lot of this is conjecture based on bits and pieces from many different sources.)
As stated previously, the night started at the engagement party around 8pm and drinks were flowing like water. What I didn’t remember was that the bartender loved my crew because we were the only ones really tipping. So at some point in the night, we started getting larger cups than everybody else. Plus, without any prompting, she decided that we needed a round of shots whenever we ordered a drink. (It’s great being VIP at somebody else’s engagement party, but I am beginning to see where the night started going wrong.)
Mike and I left the engagement party around 11pm to go to another bar and most of the details while we were there happened as I remembered.
There was one amusing story from the bar that Mike shared with me later that I barely had any recollection of though…
“Before the fight broke out, I was talking to 3 lovely ladies. I had my back to the whole melee so I had no idea anything was going on until Mike tapped me on the shoulder and pointed it out. Immediately, I jumped in to help break it up. Afterwards, I asked Mike where the ladies were and why he didn’t help with the altercation.
Mike: Somebody had to protect our drinks during the fight. I was too busy making sure nobody knocked them over to keep track of the ladies.
If the fight got too out of hand then I would have left the drinks to help you.
(Yes, these are the friends that I have. Huge fight breaks out…leave the men, women and children behind, protect the drinks!!!!! Is there any question how this night turned out so horribly.)”
After the fight, the bar staff cleared out the whole bar, except for Mike and myself. After talking with them later, it appeared that Mike and I stayed there for about another 15 minutes talking and doing shots. (Shots? Exactly what we needed at that point in the night.)
Afterwards, Mike and I supposedly returned to the bar where the engagement party was being held. We talked to several friends that remembered us being there, but none of them really remembered whether any of us had any more drinks. (Thank goodness for credit cards
though.) Mike found a receipt in his pocket for 4 red bull and vodkas tha
t were purchased around 1:15am at that bar. Later, Tim found a receipt in his pocket for 4 jager bombs purchased around the same time. (You know, it is always good to know that even if I am blacked out, my mind and body know to keep drinking and keep the party going.)
Sponge Bob – Part 2 (of 4) November 22, 2007
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B-MORE – Part 2…
Now, I’m not going to act like that was the first time that I had woken up the next morning without any idea of where I was or how I got there, but it was the first time that I had woken up just wearing a shirt, boxers, one sock, and a sweater around my waist. (By wearing the sweater around my waist, I mean that I had the the bottom of the sweater pulled up to my waist and both legs through the neck of the
sweater…what?!?!!?!)
Anyway, after I got over the initial shock, I went to search for my clothes. I found my pants and shoes in the living room, but no sock. I went into the room where I had slept and found a box of winter clothes, mainly sweaters and sweatpants, that had been dumped out and rummaged through. I searched for the sock, but after a few minutes, I decided that it wasn’t important…besides, 
I just wanted to get out of there. I stumbled to my car and drove the 20 minutes to my house. As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed and passed out. (I’ll figure out the details from the previous night later.)
A few hours later, I woke up and realized that I still hadn’t heard from Mike. (That can’t be good) I found Mike in the living room watching television and he just shook his head and said, “You won’t believe what happened to me.” (Him too?!?!?! This should be good.)
Mike blacked out about the same time that I did. His last memory was drinking at the bar with the bartenders also, but the rest of his night turned out a little differently…
He felt somebody shaking him on the shoulder and asking him if he was okay. He opened his eyes and saw a strange, homeless looking man standing over him with a look of concern on his face. Mike looked around and realized that he was laying on the ground on a random street corner in Baltimore City. It was still dark outside and he had no idea
where he was, how he got there, or how long he had been there.
The strange man helped Mike up so that he was seated on the curb. As ike sat there trying to get his bearings, the strange man stood a ittle distance away watching him with a look of curiosity. Finally, he said…
Strange Man: Are you sure that you are okay?
Mike: Umm…I guess that I’m fine.
Strange Man: Okay…that’s good.
Mike: Thanks for your help. (expecting the man to leave)
Strange Man: No problem…so, do you want any heroine?
Mike: (What?!?!?! H3ll no!!!) Umm…no, I’m good.
Strange Man: (puzzled) Really?!?!? You don’t want any heroine?
All of a sudden, another man, looking even more grimy than the first ne, appeared from out of the darkness. Now, Mike was really concerned.
(I’m dead!!!!! These guys are going to rob me, kill me, and dump my body in the harbor. I need to get the h3ll out of
here!!!!) He still didn’t know where he was, but at the moment, nywhere else was better than where he was currently…especially after e overheard this exchange…
Strange Man 2: So, how much heroine does he need?
Strange Man 1: He said that he doesn’t want any heroine.
Strange Man 2: (shocked) Really?!!?!?
Mike: Um…thanks for your help fellas, but I have to get home. Have a good night.
Mike stood up nonchalantly and tried to walk away as fast as humanly possible without appearing to be terrified for his life. After about a block and a half, he nervously looked back and saw that the 2 men had disappeared back into the darkness.
Mike gave a sigh of relief and now, with a renewed sense of security, Mike returned to figuring out his current location and destination. All of sudden, he realized that he was less than a block from his friend Ian’s house, which was where he had planned on spending the night since he didn’t live in the city. So Mike stumbled to Ian’s house and knocked
on the door. Ian let him in and Mike immediately passed out on the living floor for the night.
Sponge Bob, Sweater Pants November 21, 2007
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B-MORE – On Saturday, I went to my friend John’s engagement party. (Which is kind of interesting considering that I have been pretty good friends with John for over 2 years and I thought that he was already married.) They had rented out the upstairs of a bar in downtown Baltimore for their party so there was free food and drinks from 
7-10pm. I arrived around 8pm and the drinks and shots immediately started flowing like water. I intended to eat something so that I would at least have a decent base, but even though there was tons of food, I didn’t have more than a couple of bites the entire night…not good. I stayed there drinking and partying for awhile, but around 11pm, my roommate, Mike, and I decided to leave and go to another bar.
We decided to head over to the bar where we usually started our Saturday nights. (In a way, it is kind of like our own version of Cheers. I mean, we know the entire staff from the owner and bartenders to the bouncers and bar backs.) The only problem was that we usually started our nights there because of the strong and inexpensive drinks…probably not the best idea after an open bar, especially since we only order two drinks when we are there, red bull and vodkas (more like vodkas with a splash of red bull) and car bombs.
Mike and I were just hanging out and drinking when all of a sudden a huge fight broke out. The bar only had one bouncer so the bartenders and bar backs were jumping over the bar to help break it up. Since this was kind of like my second home, I jumped in to help break it up.
It took a little while, but eventually we were able to throw the troublemakers out of the bar and restore order.
After the huge melee, the bartenders and bouncer were so upset that they decided to kick everybody out and closed the bar at 12:30am. Of course, by everybody, I meant everybody except for myself and Mike.
So Mike and I stayed and drank with the bar staff until…
I heard a rustling so I opened my eyes and saw a strange guy getting up off of the floor. Then I realized that I was laying in a chair in a strange room. Where am I? The guy walked out of the door into the hallway so I followed him in hopes of figuring out where I was. As soon as I walked into the hallway, I realized that I was at my buddy Tim’s house. The strange guy turned out to be Tim’s friend, Adam, who was in town for the engagement party. Adam and I talked for a few minutes, but he wasn’t able to provide any insight into the previous nights events. Adam had to drive back home to his wife and kids in Philly so he hopped into the shower and left me standing in the hallway puzzled and still drunk.
What happened last night? How did I get here? Where’s Mike? Why do my knuckles hurt?
As I stood there trying to piece my night together, I realized that my legs were extremely cold. I looked down and gasped in shock…
What the f*ck?!?!?!? Where the h3ll are my pants?!?!?! And why I am wearing a sweater like a pair of pants?!?!?! What the h3ll happened last night?!?!!?!?
West Virginia – It ain’t my fault November 20, 2007
Posted by cantloseforwinning in B-MORE.1 comment so far
B-MORE – My boy, Andy, graduated from West Virginia and he told us how crazy the partying was there so we decided to check it out…plus it’s always good to get out of town. So Andy, Kenny, Joey, and I decided to drive up Sunday and rent a hotel for the night. We arrived at our hotel around 6pm and then headed straight to the bar for Happy Hour. Some of Andy’s friends, including his friend Kimmy and her man, met us out around 8 or 9pm so we just stayed at the bar eating and drinking while we were waiting for everybody. Anyway, we stayed there drinking and talking and waiting for more people to come until around 10pm and then we headed for the next bar.
Andy’s friends were going to some bar but Andy wanted to go somewhere else first and then meet up with them later. His friends left and Andy, Kenny, Joey, and I went to this bar around the corner. The line was ridiculous and it wasn’t moving so we decided to just head to the bar where all of Andy’s friends were and hang out with them. On the walk, Joey stopped to talk to a group of girls and I stopped to talk on the phone, but Andy and Kenny tried to get into the bar. The bouncer was giving Andy a hard time and questioning his id, so Andy just started laughing at him. Once this happened, the bouncer told Andy that he was visibly intoxicated and wouldn’t let him in. Joey and I tried to talk the bouncer into letting him in, but he wasn’t having it, so we had to walk 10 blocks back to the original bar that we were at. By now, that bar had a long line as did the other bar that we went to earlier. Andy and Kenny just wanted to drink so they left to find another bar, but Joey and I heard music coming out of the bar so we decided to wait in the line. After about waiting in line about 5 minutes and it not moving an inch, Joey and I decided to head back to the bar that Andy got kicked out of because all of his friends were there so we would at least know people.
The bouncer scrutinized our ids, but he let us in. As soon as we walked in, Kimmy was standing there. She asked us where Andy and Kenny were and when told her about Andy not getting in, she just laughed. Everybody else was sitting outside in the back of the bar so we stopped at the bar to get a few drinks before we joined them. While I was at the bar trying to order, Joey and I were talking to Kimmy. She was cool and as usual, I was my normal charming self. The bartender took forever, but we eventually got our drinks, took a few shots, and then headed outside to join everybody. There were like 6 or 7 people at one end of the table and Joey, Kimmy, Kimmy’s man, and me were at the other end. I was sitting next to Kimmy, Joey was sitting across from us and Kimmy’s man was sitting at the head of the table, in between Kimmy and Joey. We were all just sitting and talking when all of sudden, it felt like Kimmy rub against my leg….no big deal, probably an accident. I just ignored it and went back to talking. Next thing I know, it happened again…this can’t be a coincidence, but it has to be because her man is right there. All of a sudden, her hand was permanently on my leg. It was a little awkward because her man was right there and might notice, but I can’t say that I was upset by it. Anyway, this went on for awhile until Kimmy got up to go to the bathroom. A few minutes after she left, I realized that I needed to use the bathroom too, so I got up to find it. I was honestly looking for the men’s bathroom when I ran into Kimmy in line for the women’s bathroom. We started talking and then next thing I know, we’re making out. I mean, it’s not even like we tried to hide or anything, so if her man had gotten up to use the bathroom or go to the bar, he would have seen us. This went on for awhile and then I went to the bathroom. When I came back out, she was still in line so we kissed a little more. After being gone over half an hour, I finally returned to the table. A few minutes later, Kimmy returned to the table…Joey and Kimmy’s man were oblivious. She went back to rubbing on my leg, but then it started raining. Once that happened, we all went inside. Joey, Kimmy, Kimmy’s man, and I were standing around talking for awhile, when Kimmy decided to go to the bar to get someone a drink. I went with her to the bar. Once we got to the bar, we started kissing again. This was little scarier than before because whereas everybody was previously outside, now everybody, including her man, was like 10 to 15 feet away. True, it was crowded and there were a lot of people between us, but it was still risky. Anyway, we returned like 15 minutes later…Joey and her man were still oblivious. After that nothing else really happened. We all talked for awhile and then Kimmy and her man left around 1am. I gave Kimmy a hug goodbye, she gave me a kiss on the neck and that was it.
Now that you know the story, I’ll give you some details. I honestly don’t know how this happened. I guess that I was flirting with Kimmy, but that’s just the way that I usually talk to most girls. I mean, at the beginning of the night, I seriously had no intentions of hooking up with her. It wasn’t until she started rubbing on my leg that it entered my mind. Then, not only was I making out with Kimmy, but Joey was trying. I guess that he kept trying to get her to kiss him, but she said that she couldn’t because her boyfriend was around…interesting. Speaking of her boyfriend, they have been together for 3 years. He loved me and Joey. He kept telling us how cool we were and that next time that we come up, he definitely wanted to hang out. He was so clueless. I do sort of feel bad for the guy, but I don’t feel guilty for what I did to him. If he was one of my boys, then I would feel guilty, but since I don’t know him, it doesn’t really bother me. I mean, true I hooked up with his girlfriend, but I’m not seeing anybody and I have no obligation to him, so I didn’t really do anything wrong…she’s the one that cheated. I admit it’s not the strongest argument, but it helps me sleep at night.
