Can’t Lose for Winning

CITY OF CHAMPIONS – My land lady, Rose, is a very sweet elderly lady. She happens to live in the basement apartment of my current place. Yesterday evening I was putting together dinner and heard a knock from downstairs. She was calling my name. I do random chores for her so it wasn’t really a surprise or anything. So I stopped what I was doing and headed down to see if I could help her out.

Rose: Hi, I was wondering if you liked pumpkin pie?

Me: I don’t have it very often but I guess it’s pretty good

Rose: Do you know how to make one?

Me: I have no idea. I’m not really that handy in the kitchen. I’m more of a Foreman Grill type of guy

Rose: A what?

Me: It’s like an indoor grill. Easy to use.

Rose: Oh…well making a pumpkin pie is easy. I’ll write down a recipe for you.

Me: Okay, thanks

Rose: I got you a pumpkin

Me: That’ll certainly help

She walked into the other room and returned a roadkill pumpkin. I mean this thing was totally smashed. There was glass and gravel embedded inside it.

Rose: I saw it on the side of the road and figured it shouldn’t go to waste

Me: Yeah…good thinking

I took the pumpkin carcass upstairs and immediately threw it away. I appreciate the sentiment but there’s no way that I was going to eat that thing.