Can’t Lose for Winning

CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Thank you, Random Girls on the Train.

Because you totally could have laughed at me. Hell, I probably would have laughed at me. And it WAS, by all means a hilarious sight. There was water on the floor of the subway car as I entered it, and my cheap American Eagle Outfitters flip flops that I had deemed wearable everywhere, for every occasion, stood no chance against the slick, dirty floor.

I must say, I didn’t actually fall completely down. No, I did the dance. You know what I’m talking about. Sliding every which way, arms flailing and legs scurrying like some sort of frantic, ridiculous Charleston, praying to god I can steady myself before landing on the filthy T floor, appendages akimbo.

You three, lovely young foreign girls watched my dance with a sort of slack-jawed horror. Once I righted myself, one of you (the one I nearly smacked in the face with my bag, no less) asked in broken English if I was okay. I offered you an embarrassed smile and a nod before sitting down to catch my breath. I could tell you three really wanted to laugh, but you held it in, bless your souls. You probably were mocking me in whatever language it was you were speaking (so eloquently, I might add), but you held that laughter in. And I thank you. For my body was physically okay, my delicate ego was bruised, and you made it a little less painful for me.

Effin’ T.