Can’t Lose for Winning

B-MORE – If there’s one thing I hate more than anything, it’s passive aggressive emails. (Well, okay, there are other things I clearly hate more, like murder and child endangerment, etc, but in a general, day-to-day annoyance way of thinking.) I recently received the most awesome/awful example of one from my roommate.

First, I should give some background. My roommate moved in September 1, and has yet to finish unpacking as of today, November 6. I mean, boxes and crap all over the living room. There was even a clothing rack she had hung up (“just for a few days”) to air out, which collapsed, leaving a huge pile of clothes in the middle of the floor. I mean, my room is usually a disaster, but I keep the shared areas clean. It’s just common courtesy. I’ve lived among said crap for two months, keeping my mouth shut. I’m not home a lot, and I don’t particularly like confrontation, so whatever.

So, a few days ago, I apparently left some dishes in the sink. I don’t really remember it, I might have come home a little tipsy one night. I’m usually good at doing my dishes, as we don’t have a dishwasher, nor a ton of counter space. My old roommate often left dishes, but…I would, you know, just wash them. Big deal. It’s not a huge chunk of my time, and if I needed to cook, then I’d wash the dishes to clear up space. Apparently, leaving dishes in the sink is a much bigger affront to my new roommate. It warranted this awesome passive-aggressive email:

I didn’t get a chance to discuss with you before you left. Help me understand your system for dishes, or if there is something else you are hoping I will do and that’s why you are annoyed and not doing the dishes you use.

I have tried to rinse mine off and put them to the side until the sink was clear, but I have been waiting for a week. I am going to switch to paper so that I just don’t use the dishes anymore.

If there are things I am doing that annoy you and you are leaving the dishes in the sink for a week to express your dissatisfaction, I can’t read your mind, please tell me.

I am trying to get rid of the extra stuff in the living room so that it won’t feel like a closet. And I’ll be putting the boxes in my room today.

I’d rather you tell me what is going on than just not discuss it and let it get worse. I’m not trying to be a bad roommate, but you gotta tell me what’s on your mind.

Just give me a call or write back…Thanks.

She sent this email on Sunday. I wasn’t home, and I didn’t get it until Monday. So Monday, after work, I went home expecting to see a huge 12 course dinner’s worth of dishes I must have forgotten about.

There was a small frying pan, a bowl, and a fork in the sink, and then a stack of her unwashed dishes piled on the stove. I mean, really? THREE dishes? I know I should wash them when I use them, but seriously?? So, I washed all the dishes, including hers. It took approximately 8 minutes. I’m not sure what kind of roommates she’s had in the past, but I guess I’ll know now if she’s mad at me. I’ll just look for the unwashed dishes. And probably just wash them. Sigh.

Oh, and her crap is STILL in the living room.