Can’t Lose for Winning

CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Ok so this is what I remember from Saturday night. Too many shots at the party. So I ended up passing out on the couch. When I woke up, I was surrounded by people balancing plastic cups and writing all over me. It’s never a good idea to pass out at a party (especially before midnight)

So I’m in a bad mood so I take off. I get to the T station and realize (to my chagrin) that my keys are not in my pocket as I had assumed, but instead inside my roommates bag with my cellphone (sweet!). So after devouring 3 pieces of hi fi pizza I get home and proceed to ring our doorbell approximately 100,000 times. B/c I assumed Joe was passed out and sleeping, I looked around for things to throw at Joe’s window.

Conveniently there were many things to be had in the apartment dumpster including but not limited to a mop head, a bucket and an old backpack. After 20 minutes of lobbing these fruitless noise makers (only hitting his window once) I decide that Joe is obviously not home from the party yet and I should obviously pass out on the concrete sidewalk in front of our door vice the soft grass next to our door. So an unknown number of hours later I wake up shivering and still very drunk, I throw some stuff at the window again, and then decide to look for Joe’s hidden car key so I can sleep in his car. After frisking his car for 20 minutes I find the key and pass out in the car until about 645 this morning. Of course I have no idea what time it is when I wake up b/c of the lack of cellphone and time technology, but luckily my sense of thirst is still finely tuned so i decide to stumble groggily and still kinda drunk over to the 7-11.

After buying one of each type of liquid available, I look into a mirrored surface and realize I’ve been walking around Central Square with stuff written all over my face, neck and arms. (I have a full sharpie mustache and beard).

I then head back to my apartment and start throwing stuff at Joe’s window again with the aid of a little old latino women that barely speaks english who apparently is my neighbor. After starting to yell at the window, a handy man guy that works for our apartment comes by and lets me in around 830. I search the house for Joe and lo and behold.. my damn roommate never made it back from the party last night, making everything I had done all night completely pointless. And of course, the second I go downstairs and get a glass of water, in busts Joe yelling “GOOOOOOD MOOOORNING”. I then yell at him (even though I was clearly the dumb drunkass in the situation) and go take a shower.