Cisco Christmas December 4, 2007
Posted by cantloseforwinning in B-MORE.Tags: holiday party
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B-MORE – The 2007 Holiday Party Season is underway! My friends Brigid and Marcie were having a party. So Jamal and I decided to go. Beforehand Jamal decided that he’d try something new: Cisco. I hadn’t even seen it since my early days of college.
For those of you who have never drank Cisco, allow me to explain…
Cisco is bottled by the nation’s second largest wine company, Canandaigua Wine Co., in Canandaigua, NY and Naples, NY – the same company as Wild Irish Rose.
Known as “liquid crack,” for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than 
the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine. The label insists that the ingredients are merely “citrus wine & grape wine with artificial flavor & artificial color,” but anyone who has tried it knows better. Tales of Cisco-induced semi-psychotic fits are common. Often, people on a Cisco binge end up curled into a fetal ball, shuddering and muttering paranoid rants. Nudity and violence may well be involved too. Everyone who drinks this feels great at first, and claims, “It’s not bad at all, I like it.” But, you really do not want to mess around with this one, because they all sing a different tune a few minutes later. And by tune, I mean the psychotic ramblings of a raging naked bum.
In 1991, Cisco’s tendency to cause a temporary form of inebriated insanity led the Federal Trade Commission to require its bottlers to print a warning on the label. The FTC also forced them to drop their marketing slogan, “Takes You by Surprise,” even though it was entirely accurate. Since those days, Cisco is harder to find outside the slums, although the FTC’s demonizing of the drink only bolstered its reputation for getting people trashed. Anyone who overlooks the warning and confuses this with a casual wine cooler is going to get more than they bargained for. Cisco will make a new man out of you. And he wants some too.
The nuclear-tinted color of “Cisco RED” is reminiscent of diesel fuel. Most Cisco flavors are named by the fruit flavor that they are trying to emulate, but the one picture is simply called “RED.” This chemical disaster will get your head spinning in no time. A test subject reports, “Strawberry Cisco has a bouquet similar to that of Frankenberry cereal fermented in wine cooler with added sprinkle of brandy for presentation.” The sticky, sickingly sweet taste with a hint of antifreeze really comes through in the repellant taste of Cisco. Avaliable in various flavors, 375 mL and 750mL sizes. Down a whole 750 mL and you had better be ready to clear your calendar as you suffer through Cisco’s legendary 2 day hangover.
So headed over to the party. We got there, said our hellos and gave them our 
present which was a black santa figure…they loved it of course. Then Jamal and I headed downstairs to the bar. Jamal and I befriended the bartender. He had a tip cup, but no tips. Jamal and I told him that we would take care of it. We threw a couple of dollars in there to get him started and then hung around for a little while to provide a little encouragement to everybody to remember to tip. After a few minutes, the tip cup was overflowing…mission accomplished, off to the dance floor. Of course, we were the only ones on it, but that was no big deal, we were used to that. All we had to do was play a couple of good songs and people would come…they just needed a little motivation. We perused the mp3 collection and finally found some songs to our liking. We put on the first song and then hopped back on the dance floor. It was still just me and Jamal, but people starting eyeing the dance floor…alright, we were getting their attention…just a couple of more songs. Everything was going according to plan, but something about Jamal seemed weird, I just couldn’t put my finger on it…whatever, I was probably just imagining it. Then, we put the next song on. Now, a few people had gathered some courage and started dancing around the dance floor…we had them, just one more song.
Everything was working perfectly, but now I was positive that something was wrong with Jamal. I still couldn’t figure out what it was so I decided to concentrate on Jamal during the next song. We put the next song on and now the dance floor was packed with people…the plan worked flawlessly. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to celebrate because something was definitely wrong with Jamal…what is it?
I stared at him and then I realized what it was…it was unthinkable…Jamal had lost his rhythm!!! I mean, it wasn’t even close…I felt like I was watching Mark Madsen celebrating the Lakers championship. To make matters worse, he was spilling his drink all over himself….something had to be wrong. I walked to Jamal and suggested that maybe we should chill for a minute…luckily, he agreed. I asked him if he was feeling alright and he admitted that he didn’t feel well. I took his drink and went and got him some water. Jamal said that he was just going to relax for a minute so I went off to mingle.
I came back a few minutes later to check on Jamal and all he said was, “more water.” By the look of his shirt, I could tell that most of it didn’t make it in his mouth. This went on for about half an hour and then we decided that maybe it was best to take Jamal home. On the way out, I told Jamal to wait for a minute while I got this girls number. I got her number, said my good byes, and went to the front door looking for Jamal…he was gone. I searched frantically and asked around, but nobody had seen him. I figured that he had walked home so I went back to our place and went to sleep. Jamal woke up the next morning with no recollection of the events from the previous night…Cisco claimed another victim.
Sponge Bob Part 4 of 4 November 26, 2007
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Now, here is where the details get very fuzzy because at some point in the night, everybody left the bar and went their separate ways. Most people just headed home or went to grab some food on their way home.
As for Mike, he lived in the suburbs so he headed to his friend Ian’s house for the night. According to Mike’s theory, somehow he tripped and fell on the walk there. A homeless man saw this and immediately came over to help him. Mike has a history of sleeping on the streets of Baltimore City though so most people assume that he had been passed out on the sidewalk for awhile before the homeless man happened to notice him. Mike probably would have spent the whole night there if the nice man hadn’t helped him (because Mike looked like a heroine addict so he thought that he had an easy sell). Unfortunately, the truth will never be known.
As for me, as I said most people either went to get food or home, but I was not that smart. The night was still young (well, there were at least a good 30 minutes until the bars c
losed) so I decided to head to another bar solo to continue the night (once again, good to know that my mind and body know to keep the party going even when I am blacked out). Now, unfortunately, I don’t really remember any of that. I just have vague memories of being at another bar and then some random memory of walking through the streets of Baltimore with some angry guy. That’s it…nothing else. Luckily, Baltimore is small and I tend to frequent the same bars so I know all of the bouncers.
A few weeks later, Tim and I were were walking into a bar when the bouncer looked at me and said…
Bouncer: Is your friend okay?
Me: Who? Mike? Tim?
Bouncer: No…the guy from the other night.
Me: What are you talking about? What other night? What happened?
Bouncer: (looks at me confused) You don’t remember the other night when a huge fight broke out? Some guy got punched in the face and was knocked unconscious. There was blood everywhere. The ambulance had to come and supposedly the guy was in critical condition when they took him away. You jumped in to break it up and then I saw you walking down the street with one of the guy’s friends, trying to calm him down, so I thought that you knew them.
Me: Really?!?!!?!?! I don’t remember any of that.
Bouncer: (just shakes his head)
Tim: (just shakes his head)
Me: (wait a minute, maybe that is how I hurt my knuckles) Did I hit anybody?
Tim: I hope not. Now we have to worry about some random guys trying to fight us for whatever you did that night…
Bouncer: I don’t think so.
Me: That’s good. (I guess…even though that would have at least solved one mystery)
As for the rest of the night, I still have no idea what happened.
Since I have no idea who the guy was that I was trying to calm down, I can’t ask him. I noticed that I did make a phone call to one of my friends in California around 2:45am, but she said that I was mumbling incoherently on the message so the 3 words that she could decipher did not provide any insight into the events from my night. (wait a minute, 2:45am!?!??! The bars close at 2am…what was I still doing
out?) I also have no idea what time or how I got into Tim’s house since neither him nor Adam have any recollection opening the door for me.
As for the sweater pants, I assume that I was so drunk that I thought that I was at home so I made myself comfortable when I passed out on the couch in the living room. Tim keeps his house really cold so at some point during the night, I must have gotten really cold and went into the room in search of a blanket or something. I guess that I dumped out the box of winter clothes and rummaged through it in the dark until I found something that seemed like sweatpants. I threw them on and then passed out in a chair in the room because the couch was obviously way too far.
Of course, I will never truly know what happened that night and sometimes, I feel like that may be for the best…
I do feel bad for Tim though…the man still refuses to wear any of his sweaters…
Sponge Bob – Part 3 (of 4) November 23, 2007
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Part 3…
After hearing Mike’s story, I just shook my head. (How are we both still alive?!?!) Then I proceeded to share the details of my night with him. After he finished laughing, we both decided that we would need some assistance in figuring out the missing details from that dreadful night. Of course, after consultation with many of our friends that were also at the engagement party, it became obviously clear that they were useless since they were in just as bad, if not worse, shape than we were. So after extensive research, here is what is “believed” to have happened the night of the engagement party. (I say “believed” because very few of these details have corroboration so a lot of this is conjecture based on bits and pieces from many different sources.)
As stated previously, the night started at the engagement party around 8pm and drinks were flowing like water. What I didn’t remember was that the bartender loved my crew because we were the only ones really tipping. So at some point in the night, we started getting larger cups than everybody else. Plus, without any prompting, she decided that we needed a round of shots whenever we ordered a drink. (It’s great being VIP at somebody else’s engagement party, but I am beginning to see where the night started going wrong.)
Mike and I left the engagement party around 11pm to go to another bar and most of the details while we were there happened as I remembered.
There was one amusing story from the bar that Mike shared with me later that I barely had any recollection of though…
“Before the fight broke out, I was talking to 3 lovely ladies. I had my back to the whole melee so I had no idea anything was going on until Mike tapped me on the shoulder and pointed it out. Immediately, I jumped in to help break it up. Afterwards, I asked Mike where the ladies were and why he didn’t help with the altercation.
Mike: Somebody had to protect our drinks during the fight. I was too busy making sure nobody knocked them over to keep track of the ladies.
If the fight got too out of hand then I would have left the drinks to help you.
(Yes, these are the friends that I have. Huge fight breaks out…leave the men, women and children behind, protect the drinks!!!!! Is there any question how this night turned out so horribly.)”
After the fight, the bar staff cleared out the whole bar, except for Mike and myself. After talking with them later, it appeared that Mike and I stayed there for about another 15 minutes talking and doing shots. (Shots? Exactly what we needed at that point in the night.)
Afterwards, Mike and I supposedly returned to the bar where the engagement party was being held. We talked to several friends that remembered us being there, but none of them really remembered whether any of us had any more drinks. (Thank goodness for credit cards
though.) Mike found a receipt in his pocket for 4 red bull and vodkas tha
t were purchased around 1:15am at that bar. Later, Tim found a receipt in his pocket for 4 jager bombs purchased around the same time. (You know, it is always good to know that even if I am blacked out, my mind and body know to keep drinking and keep the party going.)
Sponge Bob – Part 2 (of 4) November 22, 2007
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B-MORE – Part 2…
Now, I’m not going to act like that was the first time that I had woken up the next morning without any idea of where I was or how I got there, but it was the first time that I had woken up just wearing a shirt, boxers, one sock, and a sweater around my waist. (By wearing the sweater around my waist, I mean that I had the the bottom of the sweater pulled up to my waist and both legs through the neck of the
sweater…what?!?!!?!)
Anyway, after I got over the initial shock, I went to search for my clothes. I found my pants and shoes in the living room, but no sock. I went into the room where I had slept and found a box of winter clothes, mainly sweaters and sweatpants, that had been dumped out and rummaged through. I searched for the sock, but after a few minutes, I decided that it wasn’t important…besides, 
I just wanted to get out of there. I stumbled to my car and drove the 20 minutes to my house. As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed and passed out. (I’ll figure out the details from the previous night later.)
A few hours later, I woke up and realized that I still hadn’t heard from Mike. (That can’t be good) I found Mike in the living room watching television and he just shook his head and said, “You won’t believe what happened to me.” (Him too?!?!?! This should be good.)
Mike blacked out about the same time that I did. His last memory was drinking at the bar with the bartenders also, but the rest of his night turned out a little differently…
He felt somebody shaking him on the shoulder and asking him if he was okay. He opened his eyes and saw a strange, homeless looking man standing over him with a look of concern on his face. Mike looked around and realized that he was laying on the ground on a random street corner in Baltimore City. It was still dark outside and he had no idea
where he was, how he got there, or how long he had been there.
The strange man helped Mike up so that he was seated on the curb. As ike sat there trying to get his bearings, the strange man stood a ittle distance away watching him with a look of curiosity. Finally, he said…
Strange Man: Are you sure that you are okay?
Mike: Umm…I guess that I’m fine.
Strange Man: Okay…that’s good.
Mike: Thanks for your help. (expecting the man to leave)
Strange Man: No problem…so, do you want any heroine?
Mike: (What?!?!?! H3ll no!!!) Umm…no, I’m good.
Strange Man: (puzzled) Really?!?!? You don’t want any heroine?
All of a sudden, another man, looking even more grimy than the first ne, appeared from out of the darkness. Now, Mike was really concerned.
(I’m dead!!!!! These guys are going to rob me, kill me, and dump my body in the harbor. I need to get the h3ll out of
here!!!!) He still didn’t know where he was, but at the moment, nywhere else was better than where he was currently…especially after e overheard this exchange…
Strange Man 2: So, how much heroine does he need?
Strange Man 1: He said that he doesn’t want any heroine.
Strange Man 2: (shocked) Really?!!?!?
Mike: Um…thanks for your help fellas, but I have to get home. Have a good night.
Mike stood up nonchalantly and tried to walk away as fast as humanly possible without appearing to be terrified for his life. After about a block and a half, he nervously looked back and saw that the 2 men had disappeared back into the darkness.
Mike gave a sigh of relief and now, with a renewed sense of security, Mike returned to figuring out his current location and destination. All of sudden, he realized that he was less than a block from his friend Ian’s house, which was where he had planned on spending the night since he didn’t live in the city. So Mike stumbled to Ian’s house and knocked
on the door. Ian let him in and Mike immediately passed out on the living floor for the night.
Sponge Bob, Sweater Pants November 21, 2007
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B-MORE – On Saturday, I went to my friend John’s engagement party. (Which is kind of interesting considering that I have been pretty good friends with John for over 2 years and I thought that he was already married.) They had rented out the upstairs of a bar in downtown Baltimore for their party so there was free food and drinks from 
7-10pm. I arrived around 8pm and the drinks and shots immediately started flowing like water. I intended to eat something so that I would at least have a decent base, but even though there was tons of food, I didn’t have more than a couple of bites the entire night…not good. I stayed there drinking and partying for awhile, but around 11pm, my roommate, Mike, and I decided to leave and go to another bar.
We decided to head over to the bar where we usually started our Saturday nights. (In a way, it is kind of like our own version of Cheers. I mean, we know the entire staff from the owner and bartenders to the bouncers and bar backs.) The only problem was that we usually started our nights there because of the strong and inexpensive drinks…probably not the best idea after an open bar, especially since we only order two drinks when we are there, red bull and vodkas (more like vodkas with a splash of red bull) and car bombs.
Mike and I were just hanging out and drinking when all of a sudden a huge fight broke out. The bar only had one bouncer so the bartenders and bar backs were jumping over the bar to help break it up. Since this was kind of like my second home, I jumped in to help break it up.
It took a little while, but eventually we were able to throw the troublemakers out of the bar and restore order.
After the huge melee, the bartenders and bouncer were so upset that they decided to kick everybody out and closed the bar at 12:30am. Of course, by everybody, I meant everybody except for myself and Mike.
So Mike and I stayed and drank with the bar staff until…
I heard a rustling so I opened my eyes and saw a strange guy getting up off of the floor. Then I realized that I was laying in a chair in a strange room. Where am I? The guy walked out of the door into the hallway so I followed him in hopes of figuring out where I was. As soon as I walked into the hallway, I realized that I was at my buddy Tim’s house. The strange guy turned out to be Tim’s friend, Adam, who was in town for the engagement party. Adam and I talked for a few minutes, but he wasn’t able to provide any insight into the previous nights events. Adam had to drive back home to his wife and kids in Philly so he hopped into the shower and left me standing in the hallway puzzled and still drunk.
What happened last night? How did I get here? Where’s Mike? Why do my knuckles hurt?
As I stood there trying to piece my night together, I realized that my legs were extremely cold. I looked down and gasped in shock…
What the f*ck?!?!?!? Where the h3ll are my pants?!?!?! And why I am wearing a sweater like a pair of pants?!?!?! What the h3ll happened last night?!?!!?!?
West Virginia – It ain’t my fault November 20, 2007
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B-MORE – My boy, Andy, graduated from West Virginia and he told us how crazy the partying was there so we decided to check it out…plus it’s always good to get out of town. So Andy, Kenny, Joey, and I decided to drive up Sunday and rent a hotel for the night. We arrived at our hotel around 6pm and then headed straight to the bar for Happy Hour. Some of Andy’s friends, including his friend Kimmy and her man, met us out around 8 or 9pm so we just stayed at the bar eating and drinking while we were waiting for everybody. Anyway, we stayed there drinking and talking and waiting for more people to come until around 10pm and then we headed for the next bar.
Andy’s friends were going to some bar but Andy wanted to go somewhere else first and then meet up with them later. His friends left and Andy, Kenny, Joey, and I went to this bar around the corner. The line was ridiculous and it wasn’t moving so we decided to just head to the bar where all of Andy’s friends were and hang out with them. On the walk, Joey stopped to talk to a group of girls and I stopped to talk on the phone, but Andy and Kenny tried to get into the bar. The bouncer was giving Andy a hard time and questioning his id, so Andy just started laughing at him. Once this happened, the bouncer told Andy that he was visibly intoxicated and wouldn’t let him in. Joey and I tried to talk the bouncer into letting him in, but he wasn’t having it, so we had to walk 10 blocks back to the original bar that we were at. By now, that bar had a long line as did the other bar that we went to earlier. Andy and Kenny just wanted to drink so they left to find another bar, but Joey and I heard music coming out of the bar so we decided to wait in the line. After about waiting in line about 5 minutes and it not moving an inch, Joey and I decided to head back to the bar that Andy got kicked out of because all of his friends were there so we would at least know people.
The bouncer scrutinized our ids, but he let us in. As soon as we walked in, Kimmy was standing there. She asked us where Andy and Kenny were and when told her about Andy not getting in, she just laughed. Everybody else was sitting outside in the back of the bar so we stopped at the bar to get a few drinks before we joined them. While I was at the bar trying to order, Joey and I were talking to Kimmy. She was cool and as usual, I was my normal charming self. The bartender took forever, but we eventually got our drinks, took a few shots, and then headed outside to join everybody. There were like 6 or 7 people at one end of the table and Joey, Kimmy, Kimmy’s man, and me were at the other end. I was sitting next to Kimmy, Joey was sitting across from us and Kimmy’s man was sitting at the head of the table, in between Kimmy and Joey. We were all just sitting and talking when all of sudden, it felt like Kimmy rub against my leg….no big deal, probably an accident. I just ignored it and went back to talking. Next thing I know, it happened again…this can’t be a coincidence, but it has to be because her man is right there. All of a sudden, her hand was permanently on my leg. It was a little awkward because her man was right there and might notice, but I can’t say that I was upset by it. Anyway, this went on for awhile until Kimmy got up to go to the bathroom. A few minutes after she left, I realized that I needed to use the bathroom too, so I got up to find it. I was honestly looking for the men’s bathroom when I ran into Kimmy in line for the women’s bathroom. We started talking and then next thing I know, we’re making out. I mean, it’s not even like we tried to hide or anything, so if her man had gotten up to use the bathroom or go to the bar, he would have seen us. This went on for awhile and then I went to the bathroom. When I came back out, she was still in line so we kissed a little more. After being gone over half an hour, I finally returned to the table. A few minutes later, Kimmy returned to the table…Joey and Kimmy’s man were oblivious. She went back to rubbing on my leg, but then it started raining. Once that happened, we all went inside. Joey, Kimmy, Kimmy’s man, and I were standing around talking for awhile, when Kimmy decided to go to the bar to get someone a drink. I went with her to the bar. Once we got to the bar, we started kissing again. This was little scarier than before because whereas everybody was previously outside, now everybody, including her man, was like 10 to 15 feet away. True, it was crowded and there were a lot of people between us, but it was still risky. Anyway, we returned like 15 minutes later…Joey and her man were still oblivious. After that nothing else really happened. We all talked for awhile and then Kimmy and her man left around 1am. I gave Kimmy a hug goodbye, she gave me a kiss on the neck and that was it.
Now that you know the story, I’ll give you some details. I honestly don’t know how this happened. I guess that I was flirting with Kimmy, but that’s just the way that I usually talk to most girls. I mean, at the beginning of the night, I seriously had no intentions of hooking up with her. It wasn’t until she started rubbing on my leg that it entered my mind. Then, not only was I making out with Kimmy, but Joey was trying. I guess that he kept trying to get her to kiss him, but she said that she couldn’t because her boyfriend was around…interesting. Speaking of her boyfriend, they have been together for 3 years. He loved me and Joey. He kept telling us how cool we were and that next time that we come up, he definitely wanted to hang out. He was so clueless. I do sort of feel bad for the guy, but I don’t feel guilty for what I did to him. If he was one of my boys, then I would feel guilty, but since I don’t know him, it doesn’t really bother me. I mean, true I hooked up with his girlfriend, but I’m not seeing anybody and I have no obligation to him, so I didn’t really do anything wrong…she’s the one that cheated. I admit it’s not the strongest argument, but it helps me sleep at night.
Vegas Part 3 – I should have known November 19, 2007
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Please read Part 1 and Part 2 first
I should have known that Lady Luck wouldn’t be on my side. The signs were all there. I remember telling Cons that I had a bad feeling about
the gambling gods. But I just couldn’t follow my own advice.
I should have known when I arrived at the airport for my 7:00 am flight only to find out that it had been delayed 3 hours…
I should have known when a 7:30 flight on the same airline went out on time and I couldn’t get a standby seat…
I should have known when I went to the bar at 8:00 am only to find out they couldn’t serve liquor until 9:00 am…
I should have known when my plane finally arrived and I got the seat with the 2 year old directly behind me…
I should have known when prior to takeoff this 2 year old kicked the back of my seat approximately 1,000 times…
I should have known when once we got in the air, this 2 year old cried non-stop for 4+ hours…
But then we got to Vegas
And the cab line at the airport was as short as I’ve ever seen it!!!
And video poker at the Bellagio was excellent to me (although John the bartender still makes horrible picks on college football)
And although we frightened everyone at brunch (the guys were eating but I snuck in for the free drinks), flip cup with champagne is one of the greatest games ever!
And then I won an orange guitar!
And I was winning and winning!!! Keep the drinks coming!!!
That was a major problem. No sleep, no food, too many drinks. See, when you’re blacked out. You don’t remember things that happened just minutes before hand. So multiple trips to the ATM seem like they never happened. And you think you’re winning because you have cash. But in reality it’s just cash that you got out of the machine because you were losing so bad.
But then I won every football bet I played on Sunday afternoon!
And I decided to go for it all! I took all my winnings and then took more cash out of the ATM and put it on one game…
Colts vs Chargers. GO PEYTON!
So of course the Chargers return to early kicks and Manning throws 6 interceptions. And I’m broke.
I go to the ATM only to discover that it won’t even let me take cash out anymore (how much have I spent anyway?) I barely have enough cash for the taxi ride to the airport.
At the airport…signs are back…
My 10:00 pm flight back home is delayed 2 hours…
Seat behind me…only crying baby on the flight…
Other than that…fantastic trip! I only wish I could remember more. Can’t wait to go back!
You say you want a Revolution November 8, 2007
Posted by cantloseforwinning in B-MORE, CITY OF CHAMPIONS.Tags: MLS, Revolution, Taylor Twellman
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B-MORE – I just saw that the New England Revolution is in the MLS Semifinals and two realizations came to mind:
First, New England (actually, I consider all of the teams in New England Boston teams, but I guess that New England is the PC term) could win championships in every major sport this year, except for hockey. Actually, I don’t really follow hockey that much, but I am pretty sure that the Bruins are garbage. When did Boston become the most dominant sports town in the United States? Unbelievable!!!!
Second, I am certain that most of the people in Boston don’t know/care about the MLS and that the police will definitely not be mobilizing their riot squad if the New England Revolution actually do win. It’s sad how soccer gets no love in the U.S. when it is the biggest sport in the world.
Therefore, I just ask you to do me one favor and at least riot a little if the New England Revolution win. I know that it isn’t as big as the Sox or Celtics or Pats or even the BC Eagles, but don’t forget that Taylor Twellman is the star of the Revolution so you have to at least show a little love to a fellow Maryland Terrapin.
Actually, I might even fly up to Boston to celebrate with you outside of Fenway, especially since it will probably just be the two of us so I doubt that we will have to worry about getting pepper sprayed again.
CITY OF CHAMPIONS – I happened to watch the Bruins last night. The Celtics were up by like 40 at halftime. And nothing 
else was on. So I flipped over and saw that the Bruins were tied 1 -1 in the 3rd period. I watched about 4 minutes, got bored and watched the Bionic Woman instead. I saw this morning that they lost 2 – 1. I want the Bruins to do well. As recently as 2002, I had a framed Anson Carter picture. It’s just since they traded Joey T. and he ended up winning the MVP. I just can’t believe in them as much as I want to.
Everything but the kitchen sink November 7, 2007
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B-MORE – If there’s one thing I hate more than anything, it’s passive aggressive emails. (Well, okay, there are other things I clearly hate more, like murder and child endangerment, etc, but in a general, day-to-day annoyance way of thinking.) I recently received the most awesome/awful example of one from my roommate.
First, I should give some background. My roommate moved in September 1, and has yet to finish unpacking as of today, November 6. I mean, boxes and crap all over the living room. There was even a clothing rack she had hung up (“just for a few days”) to air out, which collapsed, leaving a huge pile of clothes in the middle of the floor. I mean, my room is usually a disaster, but I keep the shared areas clean. It’s just common courtesy. I’ve lived among said crap for two months, keeping my mouth shut. I’m not home a lot, and I don’t particularly like confrontation, so whatever.
So, a few days ago, I apparently left some dishes in the sink. I don’t really remember it, I might have come home a little tipsy one night. I’m usually good at doing my dishes, as we don’t have a dishwasher, nor a ton of counter space. My old roommate often left dishes, but…I would, you know, just wash them. Big deal. It’s not a huge chunk of my time, and if I needed to cook, then I’d wash the dishes to clear up space. Apparently, leaving dishes in the sink is a much bigger affront to my new roommate. It warranted this awesome passive-aggressive email:
I didn’t get a chance to discuss with you before you left. Help me understand your system for dishes, or if there is something else you are hoping I will do and that’s why you are annoyed and not doing the dishes you use.
I have tried to rinse mine off and put them to the side until the sink was clear, but I have been waiting for a week. I am going to switch to paper so that I just don’t use the dishes anymore.
If there are things I am doing that annoy you and you are leaving the dishes in the sink for a week to express your dissatisfaction, I can’t read your mind, please tell me.
I am trying to get rid of the extra stuff in the living room so that it won’t feel like a closet. And I’ll be putting the boxes in my room today.
I’d rather you tell me what is going on than just not discuss it and let it get worse. I’m not trying to be a bad roommate, but you gotta tell me what’s on your mind.
Just give me a call or write back…Thanks.
She sent this email on Sunday. I wasn’t home, and I didn’t get it until Monday. So Monday, after work, I went home expecting to see a huge 12 course dinner’s worth of dishes I must have forgotten about.
There was a small frying pan, a bowl, and a fork in the sink, and then a stack of her unwashed dishes piled on the stove. I mean, really? THREE dishes? I know I should wash them when I use them, but seriously?? So, I washed all the dishes, including hers. It took approximately 8 minutes. I’m not sure what kind of roommates she’s had in the past, but I guess I’ll know now if she’s mad at me. I’ll just look for the unwashed dishes. And probably just wash them. Sigh.
Oh, and her crap is STILL in the living room.
