City of Coupons! December 5, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – I haven’t done any of my holiday shopping yet. For those of you in the same boat, please visit this site. It has a ton of coupons from stores including Banana Republic, Bath and Body Works, ESPN Shop, H&M, JC Penny, Linen & Things, Nike, Ralph Lauren, Timberland, Victoria’s Secret and many, many more. It’s certainly worth checking out.
Holiday Party in the Big Apple December 5, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS (Guest writer from the Big Apple) – Let me tell you first off that Monday holiday parties are the worst ever! Coming in Tuesday morning with a hangover is not fun.
Monday was my company’s holiday party so we had a company sponsored happy hour after work with free food and drinks from 5:30 to 8:30pm. Of course, me being me, I skipped the food and just focused on drinking, which was probably not the best idea considering that I remember feeling extremely tipsy while it was still light outside…this is going to be a long night. Also, I should probably mention that all of the company’s upper management (President, CFO, CEO, Board of Directors, etc.) was there and that we were at an extremely nice venue.
Anyway, towards the end of the happy hour, I began to get a little paranoid so I frantically searched for one of my coworkers that I party with a lot so that I could ask her if I looked drunk. When I finally found her, she told me that she had been looking for me for the same reason. She told me that I looked fine, but now that I think about it, she probably wasn’t the best person to ask considering that she was probably as drunk as me…oh well.
Some coworkers and I were sitting at a table eating and talking one girl starts asking everybody what song best describes them. Personally, I had a few ideas, but I wasn’t going to share them at a work event. She got to me so of course I said that I didn’t know. Then one of my coworkers that I hang out with occasionally said that she knew a good song for me…”I’m not a player, I just crush a lot”…what?!?!!?!? To make it even worse, whenever somebody new came to the table, one girl would ask them what song describes them and then go around the table and tell that person what everybody else’s song was…even when a Vice President in the company and the Director of our department came by…my work image is effectively ruined!!!!
By now it was around 8:30pm and I had obviously had enough to drink so I was kind of glad that the happy hour was ending so that I could get away from my coworkers before I got any worse. Of course, instead of ending the happy hour at 8:30pm, the company decided to extend it to 9pm….probably not a good idea. Of course, instead of drinking water like I should have, several coworkers and I rushed to the bar for more drinks and shots…definitely not a good idea.. By the way, this was definitely not the type of venue where you ordered shots either…they obviously didn’t have shot glasses so 10 of us were huddled by the bar doing shots out of wine glasses…probably not the best career move.
Finally, 9pm arrived and they ended the happy hour…thank goodness. Of course, instead of going home, 9 or 10 of us decided to continue the festivities at another bar…this is where the real story begins. This attractive girl that I have been interested in since I started working in New York came out. Brief history….we email all of the time at work, but don’t really talk that much outside of work…probably because she has a boyfriend and they have been together for like 7 years!!!!!
Anyway, on the car ride to the bar, she was sitting in my lap since we had to squeeze 5 people into the car…not a big deal. Then when we arrived at the bar, we ended up sitting next to each other…probably just a coincidence. Next thing that I knew, we were flirting a little (holding hands, hugging, she was lying on my shoulder, blah, blah…you get the idea), but nothing big. We were all just drinking and talking for awhile at the bar, then a band a came on stage so everybody decided to dance. She and I were dancing when out of the blue, she kissed me…definitely was not expecting that. Then next thing that I knew, we were making out. Luckily, we were kind of away from everybody else so I don’t know if the rest of my coworkers saw any of it, but they probably did. I like to keep this type of stuff hidden from my coworkers…oh well, looks like I failed. Anyway, we ended up staying for awhile and then she went home and I went home and that was that. Definitely a good night and nice to see that my persistence paid off, but considering that she has a man and that we were all pretty destroyed, I’m not really sure if she even remembers what happened, what she is going to say about it, or if she will even bring it up…oh well, I guess that we’ll see and I will definitely keep y’all updated.
12 – 0 December 4, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – So we manage to win again. I almost had a heart attack a few times but I’m super glad the Pats pulled out the victory. I went to bed with a smile on my face. However when I woke up this morning, all I heard was how the Ravens got robbed (mostly by Ravens players). How the officials cost them the game.
So I was very happy to see this afternoon that Peter King (probably my favorite football writer) wrote a column about these claims.
Now that the Ravens are done with it’s Steelers time. Our next 3 games are at home before closing in New York against the Giants.
The line…at least it’s not 20 again…
The line for the Pats/Steelers game opened at Pats (-14.5). As the day as gone on I’ve seen it on different sites ranging from (-13) to (-10). The game takes place Sunday at 4:15. Let’s go lucky 13!
In other news, the 49er’s lost again. It’s looking more and more that the Pats will have a top 5 draft pick come April. Whether they use it on a player or trade down…it’s just great knowing that they have fantastic options. And I know they never draft linebackers early but after a move I saw McGahee put on Seau last night…yikes! We could certainly use some young talent at the position.
The Red Sox…still waiting to hear about Johan. What a 
rotation that’ll be. But I’m not giving my hopes up yet. When/if it happens, I’ll deal with it then.
The Celtics…keep plugging along. They still have the best record in the NBA at 14 – 2. I’ve probably seen parts of 80% of their games so far. I have no doubt they can and will play better as the season progresses. I’m not saying they’ll keep up this pace of winning (it’s impossible) but they will be playing smarter.
Cisco Christmas December 4, 2007
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B-MORE – The 2007 Holiday Party Season is underway! My friends Brigid and Marcie were having a party. So Jamal and I decided to go. Beforehand Jamal decided that he’d try something new: Cisco. I hadn’t even seen it since my early days of college.
For those of you who have never drank Cisco, allow me to explain…
Cisco is bottled by the nation’s second largest wine company, Canandaigua Wine Co., in Canandaigua, NY and Naples, NY – the same company as Wild Irish Rose.
Known as “liquid crack,” for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than 
the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine. The label insists that the ingredients are merely “citrus wine & grape wine with artificial flavor & artificial color,” but anyone who has tried it knows better. Tales of Cisco-induced semi-psychotic fits are common. Often, people on a Cisco binge end up curled into a fetal ball, shuddering and muttering paranoid rants. Nudity and violence may well be involved too. Everyone who drinks this feels great at first, and claims, “It’s not bad at all, I like it.” But, you really do not want to mess around with this one, because they all sing a different tune a few minutes later. And by tune, I mean the psychotic ramblings of a raging naked bum.
In 1991, Cisco’s tendency to cause a temporary form of inebriated insanity led the Federal Trade Commission to require its bottlers to print a warning on the label. The FTC also forced them to drop their marketing slogan, “Takes You by Surprise,” even though it was entirely accurate. Since those days, Cisco is harder to find outside the slums, although the FTC’s demonizing of the drink only bolstered its reputation for getting people trashed. Anyone who overlooks the warning and confuses this with a casual wine cooler is going to get more than they bargained for. Cisco will make a new man out of you. And he wants some too.
The nuclear-tinted color of “Cisco RED” is reminiscent of diesel fuel. Most Cisco flavors are named by the fruit flavor that they are trying to emulate, but the one picture is simply called “RED.” This chemical disaster will get your head spinning in no time. A test subject reports, “Strawberry Cisco has a bouquet similar to that of Frankenberry cereal fermented in wine cooler with added sprinkle of brandy for presentation.” The sticky, sickingly sweet taste with a hint of antifreeze really comes through in the repellant taste of Cisco. Avaliable in various flavors, 375 mL and 750mL sizes. Down a whole 750 mL and you had better be ready to clear your calendar as you suffer through Cisco’s legendary 2 day hangover.
So headed over to the party. We got there, said our hellos and gave them our 
present which was a black santa figure…they loved it of course. Then Jamal and I headed downstairs to the bar. Jamal and I befriended the bartender. He had a tip cup, but no tips. Jamal and I told him that we would take care of it. We threw a couple of dollars in there to get him started and then hung around for a little while to provide a little encouragement to everybody to remember to tip. After a few minutes, the tip cup was overflowing…mission accomplished, off to the dance floor. Of course, we were the only ones on it, but that was no big deal, we were used to that. All we had to do was play a couple of good songs and people would come…they just needed a little motivation. We perused the mp3 collection and finally found some songs to our liking. We put on the first song and then hopped back on the dance floor. It was still just me and Jamal, but people starting eyeing the dance floor…alright, we were getting their attention…just a couple of more songs. Everything was going according to plan, but something about Jamal seemed weird, I just couldn’t put my finger on it…whatever, I was probably just imagining it. Then, we put the next song on. Now, a few people had gathered some courage and started dancing around the dance floor…we had them, just one more song.
Everything was working perfectly, but now I was positive that something was wrong with Jamal. I still couldn’t figure out what it was so I decided to concentrate on Jamal during the next song. We put the next song on and now the dance floor was packed with people…the plan worked flawlessly. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to celebrate because something was definitely wrong with Jamal…what is it?
I stared at him and then I realized what it was…it was unthinkable…Jamal had lost his rhythm!!! I mean, it wasn’t even close…I felt like I was watching Mark Madsen celebrating the Lakers championship. To make matters worse, he was spilling his drink all over himself….something had to be wrong. I walked to Jamal and suggested that maybe we should chill for a minute…luckily, he agreed. I asked him if he was feeling alright and he admitted that he didn’t feel well. I took his drink and went and got him some water. Jamal said that he was just going to relax for a minute so I went off to mingle.
I came back a few minutes later to check on Jamal and all he said was, “more water.” By the look of his shirt, I could tell that most of it didn’t make it in his mouth. This went on for about half an hour and then we decided that maybe it was best to take Jamal home. On the way out, I told Jamal to wait for a minute while I got this girls number. I got her number, said my good byes, and went to the front door looking for Jamal…he was gone. I searched frantically and asked around, but nobody had seen him. I figured that he had walked home so I went back to our place and went to sleep. Jamal woke up the next morning with no recollection of the events from the previous night…Cisco claimed another victim.
Wingman December 3, 2007
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PB – Being a Wingman ain’t very easy. It
takes a lot of sacrifice to get the job done. And even then, things don’t always work out. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.
So George, Mark, Slam and I decided to go to Martini Ranch in the Gaslamp District for Happy Hour. We arrived and noticed that things seemed a little more hectic than normal. They had a lot more staff than usual. Then to our surprise, we were notified that the bar was having their anniversary party. Unlimited free drinks from 5:00-8:00. I like it like that!
So we found a table and the drinks began flowing. We started getting on our cells. Calling everyone we knew in the area. In about an hour, we were rolling about 12 deep. A few people came too late to get the wristbands for free drinks but it didn’t matter because we were just doubling up our orders. It was going fine.
Slam ran into a friend that he used to work with. She was with a bunch of girls. Usually Slam would be trying to make some moves but his girl had showed up so he had to be on his best behavior. But he did do the intros for the rest of us. A couple of them were really, really cute.
A few of them sit down at the table next to ours. I get talking with Betsy. She’s got a buzz on and is throwing me that playful vibe. So I throw some back. Everything is going very nicely. We talk about a million things. I can’t remember exactly what because by this point I was getting pretty hammered. Then we danced a little bit. I knew she was digging me!
But I didn’t want to come on too hard. I couldn’t have her think that I was sweating her. So I made sure I kept time for the rest of the crew too. It was beginning to get dark. I made another trip to the men’s room. The line was pretty long but it moved quickly. But when I returned Betsy and her crew were gone. I figured they went to dance again. I did a quick search and came up empty. Damn it! I blew it!
About 10 minutes later, George came running up. It was really more of a stumble. He explained to me that he saw Betsy looking for me. Her friends wanted to leave. So when she didn’t see me she just left. But George being the good wingman followed them outside. There they decided to have a smoke. So George had a chance to strike up conversation.
George: What’s going on? You leaving?
Betsy: Yeah, we need to meet our friends at The Bitter End.
George: I see
Betsy: You should get your friend and come meet us there
George: That sounds good. Where is it?
Betsy: Just down the street on the left side. You can’t miss it.
George: Okay, we’ll see you soon!
So I’m psyched! I have another chance with Betsy! George and run take off to go find her. But as soon as we get outside I can tell something is amiss. George begins walking one way. Then another. He can’t remember what bar they said they’d be at. In his defense, he hasn’t been living in San Diego that long so he doesn’t know about all the bars. And we’re in a very concentrated bar area. And he’s wasted. So I try my best to get whatever info I can get out of him. He’s pretty sure it’s on the left someplace or the right.
We go to 3 or 4 bars with no success. It wasn’t meant to be. George had fabulous intentions, his execution was just a bit off. That’s what happens when you mix an inexperienced Wingman with an Open Bar.
Mrs. Claus November 30, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Here’s a holiday story to warm your hearts like a glass of eggnog (with extra rum). For awhile when I was living in Brookline, I took the bus to work. Yeah, I know. There were always crazy characters on that thing. Luckily, it was a pretty quick trip to 
Mission Hill where I worked. (Yeah. I know.) One day in particular always stands out in my head. It was near the holidays, snow outside, and the bus was packed. This old lady shuffled on to the bus, in full Christmas regalia. You know, the Christmas sweater, jingle bell necklace, and ornament earrings. There were no empty seats, so this lady, (I’ll call her Mrs. Claus) stands in front of this young ruffian who was sitting down. This guy looked like a typical skater punk, and was listening to headphones so loud you could hear it. Mrs. Claus stared down Tony Hawk Jr., expecting, I guess, this guy to give up his seat to her. He pretended not to notice, nodding along with his music. You could tell he could feel her staring at him though. Her eyes got narrower and narrower as she glared at him, and you could feel her Christmas rage, as her jingle bell necklace rang angrily with each jerk and stop of the bus. Finally, the bus stopped and Jr. stood up to exit, brushing by Mrs. Claus. She continued to glare at him as she gave him this tiding of joy: “Merry Christmas, @sshole!”
Holiday Party Motownphilly Style November 29, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS (Guest Writer from Motownphilly) – With work holiday parties just around the corner…here’s my experience from last year (I don’t plan to repeat in any fashion whatsoever)
It was time for our yearly “holiday” party. First off, our company party is usually beat. Everyone from work comes and it is a limited open bar. They would give us tickets for beer, like a frat party in college. Then all of the drunks would have to run around and collect tickets from people who didn’t 
drink when we ran out of tickets. On a bright side, we always had an open bar party afterwards at another bar. None of the beat people would come and we could really let loose and have a good time. After that, we had an after after party at hotels in downtown Philly, so no one had to worry about getting home.
This year we received some bad news. The company would no longer be providing limited beer and wine at the party. They tried to give some lame ass excuse that it was for liability reasons…. Cheap bastards…. Well, being to good alcoholics that we are, we made it BYOB. We kept it on the DL from upper management but it had to be done.
So we started drinking at 1… the Captain was treating us well. As usual, the party was boring but we had the after party to look forward to. My plan was to take it easy, because I wanted to get home that night and sleep in my own bed. We left the company party at 4 and headed of to the bar where we were having the open bar from 4 to 8. We had put together a good crew of people from work, so we where having a good time. We usually have a party like this once a quarter to maintain some sanity, and it usually the same crew of people. The holiday party is different though, people take it to another level.
I am putting back the beers at a good pace and feeling good. I am still sticking to my plan that I am going to head home after this and not go to the after after party. But then one of the new guys, fresh out of college, starts ordering up rounds of shots. He grabs me and that’s when my plan started to go out the window. It was 7 at this point and I figured a couple shots wouldn’t hurt me that much. Wrong… This is where the blackout started. I can hold my liquor well, so most people don’t even know how drunk I am most of the time. We left the after party at 8 and headed over to the after-after party. I kind of remember tripping over a bum on the way but not really. We stop by another bar for a drink and then make our make to the hotel. We walk into the room and the party is on.
Then I came up with another good one, time to pull the ghost move and catch a train home. It was about 10 and it was easy to make a disappearing act because everyone was so loaded at this point. The train stops running at 12:30, so I knew it was a good time to split.
I make my way to the train station… I can barely even read at point, so I get on the first train. Problem was that it was the wrong train. I didn’t figure this out until 15 minutes into the ride. So I got off in Manyunk and started to wait until the next train came. The nice thing was that it was in a part of town that was full of people our age and were partying. So I fit in a nice. I catch the next train back to a switching station. At least I am starting to sober up. I get to the switching station, Temple University. For those of you that have never been to Philly or to Temple for that matter, it is not a good area to be around in late at night. Unless you like bums begging for money, and the slight chance that you get robbed or shot. I knew I had to get out of there… The train to take me home finally came and I was happy to be out of there and heading in the right direction. It was 12 at this point and I knew it was one of the last trains to my place.
So I wake up in an empty train with no clue where I am. I couldn’t remember what train I got on in the first place. I walk around the train cars for a little while looking for some one to at least tell me where I am…. No luck there, so I find my way out of the train and start walking the tracks… It is about 2 am at this point and I figured I would find something that I knew eventually. So there I am walking the track and freezing my ass off. I cross over some road but I still have no clue where I am. Then I pass by an airport with jet airplanes… still no clue. Then I crossed over a highway. I decided to hop the fence and start thumbing it. I still had
no clue where I was or if I was at least heading in the right direction. I walked for about a mile with no luck. Then I saw a sign and realized that I was in New Jersey and I was on 95. At least I knew where I was at this point. Then a Jersey State Trooper drove right by me, my 2nd clue that I wasn’t in Pennsylvania anymore. I came up on an exit and got off 95. They were doing some construction, so there were empty trucks all over the place. I try to get in one for some shelter. Bingo, first one I tried was open. I got in and started dialling my boys to pick me up. Problem was, they were either too drunk to drive and too drunk to know where I was. I quickly realized that this truck was not cutting it because it was so cold. I found a engineering trailer close by…. most of them where locked, but I found one that was open and heated. So I found a place to sleep and I was out.
I woke up at about 8 am on some dudes desk. Got up, sat at the deck and started dialling for a ride. One of the guys that was at the party agreed to pick me up. I told him what exit I was at to pick me up. I walk to the exit and look down street and see a Marriott…. yeah, that would have been nice last night. He got there an hour later am took me home.
We Good November 29, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Alright…I knew something was off about the spread last week.
Yeah…I know I said I liked it but hey…you’ve seen them play this season. It’s tough to go against them. This week we’re up against the Baltimore Ravens (-20.5) at last glance. I feel a lot better about this game. The Ravens are offensively challenged. And the defense isn’t what it used to be. They’re still tough against the run but for a team that rarely runs…the pass game should nice and open.
The Red Sox are in trade talks with the Twins regarding Johan Santana. And it looks like Jacoby (in a package including Jon Lester and other prospects) is the key to getting it done. I LOVE Jacoby! I think he’s going to be an incredible, exciting player but…Johan Santana…I KNOW he’s an incredible, exciting player. He’s young, he’s a lefty, he’s a gamer. Pitching is the name of the game. I’d do it in a heartbeat. With the Yankees being the other team in the hunt…I’d love to see the deal done.
Either way…it’s a no lose. But if I had a choice…
The Celtics lost their 2nd game of the season last night against the defending East Conference Champs…the Cleveland Lebron’s. It went to overtime and we had a chance to win in regulation but hey…can’t win them all. The Celtics still have the best record in the NBA. It’s so good to be in the CITY OF CHAMPIONS! Over the past 5 seasons or so…by this time of the season, I’d already be on one of my favorite NBA websites trying to figure out what draft pick would look best in green. Al, Gerald, Ryan and all the rest…I miss you but this is much, much better. By the way, I’ve decided that it’s okay to root for Gerald in the slam dunk contest this year even though he’s not a Celtic anymore.
Golf Party Update November 28, 2007
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Golf Party is off. I’m in the clear.
Golf Party November 28, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – So I’m walking home after work. It’s about 8:00. I stayed late for a few hours catching up on things.
So it’s a 15 minute walk from the work to my place. I’m feeling restless. I want to do something. One of my friends lives close 
by, under a minute. I actually have to walk by her apartment to get home. So I call her up. She invites me over. So I go over for cocktails and we start talking.
Jodie: So are you excited about the golf party tomorrow?
Me: Golf party? What golf party?
Jodie: Remember on Friday night…I got invited and you said you’d go with me.
Me: When on Friday?
Jodie: You were out with your friends for someone’s birthday. You called me while you were out to come meet up.
Thanksgiving Birthday Strikes Again!
Me: Did I tell you that I probably wouldn’t remember our conversation?
Jodie:Yeah…you did say that but I thought you were joking.
Me: Nope…I was quite serious. Also…I don’t even play golf.
Jodie: No not golf….it’s a goth party.
Alright…now I have no idea what I got myself into. Goth? I don’t even know what it really means. It didn’t even know it was still around. In high school it was the kids who wore a lot of black clothes.
She goes on…
Jodie: Yeah…it’s going to be a lot of fun. There’s supposed to be jello wrestling.
Me: And I agreed to go with you?
Jodie: Yeah
Me: Tomorrow night?
Jodie: Yeah
Me: Do I need to buy an outfit or something. The goth thing isn’t exactly my scene.
Jodie: I’m not sure.
Me: Give me a call tomorrow. I’ll let you know.
Currently there’s a 30% chance that I go tonight
Troy Brown November 27, 2007
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Troy Brown is back with the Pats! 
I’m not sure he’ll see the field very often but it’s nice to have him back.
And now the bad news…the Pats had been pretty lucky so far in terms of injuries. But we lost Colvin for the season with a foot or arm injury. The extent of the injury hasn’t been released yet.
Thanksgiving B-Day November 27, 2007
Posted by cantloseforwinning in CITY OF CHAMPIONS.Tags: bacardi, birthday, thanksgiving
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CITY OF CHAMPIONS – Nothing like old high school friends…Mark, Brian and I were all ready for post-Turkey celebrations. We meet in Milton and drive over to Mark’s apartment in Back Bay. At the apartment, we did some pre-drinking.
Brian tells us “Remember I have to work tomorrow afternoon. I can’t drink too much.”
Oh yeah…I forgot to mention that this is also Brian’s birthday.
Like we care…we’re going hard tonight. This only motivates Mark and I to get him really drunk! He’s going down!
The first stop was Daisy Buchanan’s. At the bar, Brian runs into a few friends (he always runs into people) Meanwhile, Mark I noticed that a Bacardi promo was going down.
So Bacardi was giving out free t-shirts. But they just didn’t give them out. You had to do something. Hey…why not? So the girl has a cardboard cutout of a Bacardi Limon bottle. I had to wear it on both sides and collect 20 signatures. No problem…10 minutes later I had the signatures and Mark and I had new t-shirts. We were really excited.
They weren’t the run of the mill regular white t-shirt. It was a high quality garment. (trust me…you’ll be hearing about the t-shirts again later)
We found Brian and he was already a few shots in. Time for a change of pace…we decided we’d head over to…(well perhaps I should keep the bar name as an unknown)
We arrive around 10:00. Things are just picking up. I start a bar tab.
We all do a few shots. I decided to scout the dance floor. Meanwhile Mark decides that he can’t let Brian drink alone. He decides he’ll go shot-to-shot with Brian until they reach an acceptable double digit number. I think we’re on 8 or 9 at this point. I let them do their thing. I just grab a beer and head on off. I run into a girl I went to high school with. She was a year or 2 below me. We decide to do a little dancing. Time starts to fly. Next thing I know its midnight and Mark and Brian haven’t moved from the bar. I go over to talk to them.
All Brian can talk about is getting home so he can work. He needs to get to Milton. But we made a plan earlier that we’d sleep at Mark’s since his car is at his apartment.
Next thing you know…Brian runs out of the bar and starts hailing cabs. Mark and I chase after him. But when we reach the front door, I’m stopped by bouncers. They think I’m trying to skip on my tab. I tell them my friend is leaving and I’m just trying to catch him. But they won’t let me go. I’m physically carried back to the bar and they make me sign out my tab. While I’m “distracting” the bouncers, Mark is able to go outside and find Brian. I close my tab without leaving a tip.
The bartender says to me “Hey…no tip?”
I tell him “I’m getting thrown out! What do you think?”
I walk outside and find Mark and Brian waiting in a cab. I get in the cab and we head to Milton. Once we hit the highway, we realize we have about $7 in cash between the 3 of us. The cab driver figures this out and starts asking us about it. Then Mark gets
belligerent. I can’t write in words what he was saying. They weren’t really words. He was just blabbering. The driver threatened to drop us off on the highway but I was able to squash it. I tell him to stop at an ATM and I’d get money.
I get the cash and we’re off again. So we’re getting close to home. Then Brian says…”Uh oh…pullover, pullover!” The cab screeches to a stop. Brian falls out and gets sick on the sidewalk. I pay the driver and he speeds off. So we’re about a block away from Mark’s place and 3 from Brian’s place. I live a good 15 minutes away but I’m the strongest mentally and physically at this juncture. I decide that I should get Brian home. I point Mark in the direction of his house.
Brian: “Where are we?”
Me: “Your street. Just keep walking that way.”
I send Mark off and Brian and I head to his place. Brian seems to be doing much better now. He’s still nowhere near 100% but he can talk. We get to his house in about 5 minutes. Then I realize that I’m missing my Bacardi t-shirt! I must’ve left it in the cab.
Damn! Oh well…things happen. Brian gets into his house and now I have to get home.
Mind you, I’m the most sober of the 3 of us but I’m nowhere near sober. I can barely walk straight. And now that I’m not watching after Mark and Brian, I feel the effects a lot stronger. This walk may take a little bit longer than 15 minutes. And it’s not exactly the warmest night.
I get about half a block and I can hear a car coming behind me. It’s the Police. The officer pulls up to me. Now in my head I’m thinking I can’t get busted from being drunk and disorderly…I think. But maybe the cab driver called the cops on us.
Officer: “Where are you heading?”
I explain to him that it was my friend’s birthday and I just dropped him off and now I’m heading home. I catch a break as the officer happens to be one of Brian’s neighbors! He stopped me because high school kids all over town had been seen drinking. He thought maybe I was one of them. He was trying to keep underage kids off the streets. He asks me if I need a ride. WORD! I jump in the back of the cruiser and I’m home in minutes. Perfect timing. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Things with Mark…
So like I said before, I pointed Mark in the direction of his house. I could practically see it. We weren’t very far at all. I guess he was a little more drunk than I thought. He made his way down his street. Home Sweet Home! He got to the door but couldn’t get it opened. He figured he had the wrong set of keys. So he tried to climb through a side window.
Only one problem, he was at the wrong house…his Marine neighbor’s house. Mr. Marine is awakened by all the noise Mark is making.
Mr. Marine: “Mark…you live next door. Go home.”
Whoops!
So Mark does exactly what he’s told. He goes next door…except in the wrong direction.
And again he tries the door and then the window. This time he wakes up Old Lady Smith and almost gives her a heart attack!
3rd time’s the charm! He gets into his house and passes out on the floor of his brother’s room. He awakened early the next morning by his mother, Bacardi t-shirt as his pillow.
Momma Mark: “Mark, what are you doing here?”
Mark actually can’t remember how he got home and is praying that he didn’t drive. He jumps out, looks out the window…no car. That’s a relief.
The next day, we’re all recovered from the night. Brian made it to work the next afternoon. I didn’t wake up the next day until 5:00pm (this was a lot easier when I was younger) and my head was still pounding.
Mark is out for errands with his mom. She’s driving. They pull onto his street. All of a sudden he yells “Pull over! Pull over!”
His mom is afraid she may have just hit someone or something. She swerves to a stop and Mark runs out of the car. On top of a bunch of bushes, near where the cab had dropped us off the night before…my Bacardi t-shirt!
